Butterfly
by nuke-grrl
Summary: One-shot! KxK. With the changing of the seasons, sometimes people change along with them.


Author's Note: Rurouni Kenshin does not belong to me. It belongs to someone else. I had posted this a few days ago and was not quite satisfied with how the story flowed. If you've read it and made comments, thank you very much for your help. Now, on with the story---

Butterfly

~A Changing of the Season~

"I will be gone in a month."

You said that to me what seemed like yesterday and yet each day that had passed afterwards became a blur to me. I remember looking at you but not quite believing what I thought I had heard you say. Then you said it again. I felt my heart constrict.

I suppose the logical questions would have been "Where are you going?" or "How long will you be gone?" or "Can sessha come with you?" 

But only a heart in pain would ask "Why?"

I had always thought I had all the time in the world to spend with you. I could take my time and let things remain the way they were. I would continue to love you in secret and become fiercely protective of you when you are in danger. I would pretend not to notice the suggestive comments from our friends that hinted at our feelings.

"Oro?"

"Mou, Kenshin."

That was the way it had always been between us. I was foolish to even hope that it would never change. Silly man, to think that nothing could take you away from me. To forget for a moment that you were never really mine. To forget who I was.

As much as I wish it, I cannot follow you where you are going nor can I protect you as I had promised.

[I will protect you.]

"Would you like to take a walk with me?"

[One last time, anata.]

I promised to bring peace to Japan by slaying my enemies in the name of Heaven's Justice during the Revolution. I promised to protect those who were weaker than me. I promised to usher in a new era with the strength of my sword. Together, the Ishinshishi and the Shinsengumi had given birth to the Meiji Era. We bought peace at the cost of blood. We created the Meiji Era and lost our souls to the madness. I wielded my sword so that you could live without fear.

After the Revolution, I became a ronin and atoned for my sins by making another promise. I had promised not to take another life. Ten years led me to Tokyo and finally, to you and the place I now call home. So many times, I wanted to leave because I seem to attract chaos. I put you in danger more times than I can count. 

I refused my heart, so I would be able to leave without regret when circumstance made it necessary. I would be able to walk away from Tokyo, from you. And yet-

[One last time, koiishi.]

You hold out your hand for me and I reach for it without hesitation. I wanted to remember how your touch affected me. This time, I did not hesitate nor did I care that they see us like this. Instantly, my senses feel your warmth and I had let it overwhelm me. My hand closed around yours but you did not pull away. I smile to myself.

[Okaeri nasai.]

[Tadaima.]

I helped you step out of the front door and we walked together in contented silence. In the darkness, there is no one else in the world. There is only you and there is only me.

We arrived at the stream where the cherry blossom blooms and where fireflies linger. You stepped towards the tree and let go of my hand to approach the tree. I immediately missed your warmth. I stood behind you as we watched fireflies hover nearby. I stood still as one approached and landed on my shoulder, lighting the left side of my face. As if in remembrance of the memory connected to it, its wings lightly caress my face and I close my eyes in response.

When I opened my eyes once again, I found your blue eyes watching me. In the dark, my senses are sharpened and I can feel your resolve strengthening. Smiling, I turn to you-

And the firefly flew away.

"Miss Kaoru?"

Your gentle smile never wavered and yet your voice sounded different. "You know how I feel about you, don't you?" 

[Silence]

Was I really that transparent?

For all the stories that have called my skills as legendary, I cannot even hide my emotions from one woman. Ah, but she is Kaoru, after all. And she holds my heart in her hands though she may not know it. There was no point in denying my feelings since you obviously know the truth that even I deny myself. Disagreeing would only hurt her even more than my own admission. Yes, it would cause more pain-

"I know that I don't know how to cook let alone do anything useful in the kitchen. I don't exactly act like a proper lady should and my communication skills leaves a lot to be desired --- "

"Kaoru."

Her name without the honorific startled her and gave me the opportunity to interrupt. "How could I even dare to hope of finding my own happiness when I have taken it away from so many? These hands are stained with the blood of men who had hopes for their future before I had extinguished their lights. They had wives and daughters. But I ended their lives too soon. You, Kaoru, are the Meiji Era. Born from these bloodied hands, you live in this peaceful world without experiencing the living hell that was Kyoto."

You bit your lower lip as if keeping the tears at bay and I finally realized what everyone else had known. "I had often wondered if this was all a dream, Kaoru, a brief respite from the bloodlust. But when I see your smile and think it's a dream, I pray to whatever gods that exist that I may never wake up."

Silence.

I am mesmerized by your eyes glistening in the darkness and became vaguely aware of your hand cupping my cheek. I lean my face into your palm, feeling the warmth of your touch and could not resist kissing it. I felt you blush from my kiss and wished I could see you in the darkness.

"Maybe I could have done something to allay your fears. I should have been more ---"

This time, I stopped you when I placed my finger on your lips, silencing further comment. I smile slightly and shook my head.

[No, my Kaoru. Do not ever think that you have to change yourself.]

You pause slightly. "I have no reason to fear anything now. I have found my answer and that is all that matters." 

It's my turn to be surprised by the sudden seriousness in your voice. I was gripped with a sudden pain in my heart and I imagined a tomorrow without that smile. All the emotions that I had been holding back seemed to found a way to the surface. The looming emptiness grew more frightening as the seconds passed and the realization of its end focused my attentions. 

I reached to cover your hand for reassurance and safety. "Please don't go."

The smile on your face fell slightly with my words and I felt the need to go on. "I cannot --"

And that was as far as I got as your other hand stroked my right cheek. Slowly, you pulled my head closer until we stood inches away from each other. The smell of jasmines grew stronger as I once again was intoxicated by their charms. As if by reflex, I close my eyes for a moment, reveling in it but something compelled me to open them once again. Feather light touches caressed my cheek but I could only stare in wonder at you. You planted a kiss on each of my cheek and one on my forehead. My eyes closed as your lips touched my skin and felt a tingle down my spine. Before I could recover from that kiss, I felt another light touch on my lips and I open my eyes quickly. Though brief, it had left its mark on my soul.

I instinctively reach out to pull you closer but only caught air. I look around me and noticed that the sun had already started to rise in the east. The remaining darkness had been chased away by the light and I could tell that morning had come too soon. I see a butterfly hovering near the cherry blossoms with bright blue wings.

I did not notice when the tears had started to fall from my eyes. I did not notice the cherry blossoms floating in the water. I did not notice the beginnings of a bright blue sky. I did not notice our friends running behind me, worried looks on their faces that spoke of their restless search through the night. All I noticed were the fading bright blue wings that floated away from my grasp and too soon, away from my sight.

[You will always be in my heart, Kenshin.] The wind carried your message to my heart.

[As long as I am able to remember, I will not forget you, Kaoru.]

~Owari~

More Author's Notes: I rewrote the story because I was not happy with how the first one had turned out. I know that it was a sad story but it was something that I had felt needed to be written.


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